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Meeting someone new is always a big thing, no matter who you are. Sometimes, even meeting people you already know can be nothing short of a nightmare, especially if you suffer with Hyperhidrosis. In fact, when you have an embarrassing illness, the stress involved in meeting anyone new for the first time can be enough to put you right off. I don’t have to point out that meeting a new potential partner is one of the biggest things you’ll ever do, this could be the person you spend the rest of your life with.

This subject has come up a few times lately. It seems love is quite possibly in the air! Some of our members have recently mentioned a potential new romance on the horizon. I think it’s probably got something to do with the cooler weather, it seems to go a long way to make us feel better about ourselves. Summer is incredibly stressful and we pretty much live to get through it as intact as we possibly can. It’s always a huge relief when September arrives, we know there’s around six months before we start hotting up again.

With all that pressure on you, one of the first things that will go through your mind (especially in the warmer weather) is your Hyperhidrosis. Will you sweat when you’re on a date? When should you tell the other person? What would you tell the other person? How will they deal with it?

Well, I can’t really answer the final question because the truth is, it’s not for everyone. The chances are that you probably have an 90/10 chance they will be fine with it. Most people won’t have a problem with it. Before my HH kicked in really badly, it used to come and go. When it went, I’d not give it a second thought. During one of the ‘dry’ times, for a few weeks/months I had a boyfriend who suffered with it. We’d hold hands, I’d wipe mine down my jeans when we stopped holding hands. It didn’t occur to me to mind. I vaguely remember ‘the conversation’ we had about it, I’m sure it went something like “why are you hands always wet?”. Him: shrugged “I dunno”. Me: “oh”. And that was that. There are some who can’t deal with it, but that’s life, it’s nobody’s fault. We need to see it for what it is, honesty. It’s one of those ‘take it on the chin’ things. Chances are, with those odds, you may not even have to deal with a moment like that. Even if you do, you’re not alone. But, when do you mention it, and how?

Timewise, there are two ways of doing this. You can either be up front and lay your cards on the table. The advantages are that if the person does have a problem with it, you can walk away from the person without having spent the time fretting about how they’d take it – and maybe even getting to like them. The only real disadvantage is that at this point in your relationship, they don’t know you. This would immediately put you at a disadvantage and maybe even give the sweating a chance to dictate the outcome rather than you being in control. The person might get the impression that it’s a big thing in your life – and if they think you see it as a problem, then you’re taking the chance that they will, too.

The other option is to take it as it comes. I call this the ‘mermaid/merman’ technique. You can call it what you like, but if someone asks you why you have wet hair or wet hands, it helps me to give it a ‘nice’ name. Just the word ‘Hyperhidrosis’ sounds depressing to me. Replying with “Oh, that! I’m a mermaid!” sounds more confident and less like I have a problem – and doesn’t bring the mood down. There’s only so much you need to tell anyone and it’s just another ice-breaker. Only say what you’re comfortable with.

I’ve tried both ways and I’m more comfortable with the this technique. The advantages are – you’ve come to like each other and they might see past the sweating side of things a little easier because they have had a bit of time to get to know you. You’re also not imparting that it’s a disproportionate issue for you. Even if it feels it sometimes is, things do change. There are new products coming on the market on an almost weekly basis. Scientists are currently looking into isolating the faulty gene that causes this – once they’ve done that, chances are it’s a matter of time before they can work out an effective treatment or maybe even a cure. You can’t rely on a cure though, you still need to be realistic. It would be an amazing bonus if it happens.

As for when the time is right, well, that’s completely down to you. You’ll have got to know the person a bit better by this time, even if it is only three or four dates in, you’ll know you like each other by now, so it’s just a case of picking your moment. Waiting for the topic to come up naturally can often be the best way. It will tell them that you have the confidence to deal with it and you don’t let it dictate to you. Obviously as time goes on, they’ll get to know how it really is for you. Whatever you do, do it with confidence. You know what they (I always wonder who ‘they’ are) the more confident you pretend to be, the more confident you’ll feel. That is one of the biggest attractions we could offer a potential new partner. You are you, your HH is just ‘something that happens’ to you that you have little control over. Don’t let it sabotage the good stuff.